Application for dating my daughter
___________________________________________ Signature (that means sign your name) Thank you for your interest. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch your back).
__________ If NO, explain________________________________________________________ Number of years married________ If less than your age, Explain________ ________________________________________________________________ Do you own a van? Leaving premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised. _______________________ Condoms come in packages of A: 3 B: 6 C: 9 D: 12 E: ALL OF THE ABOVE (circle one) I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE AND RED HOT POKERS.
______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________In 50 words or less, what does "HANDS OFF" mean to you?
I SUGGEST RUNNING.)ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
Note, this is slightly changed from the original version that I received! )_______________________________ ________________________________Mother’s Signature Father’s Signature_______________________________ ________________________________Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman In the boxes below, please provide Finger Prints, inked in your own blood for Homeland Security Identity Checking and DNA sampling: Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.
Below is the text from the form, however, I have created a PDF version of it that is probably more useful. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would cause you injury).
A woman's place is in the: ______________________________________D.APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ______________________________________________________________E. __________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: ______________________________________________________________G. ______________________ RULES: Initial each Rule after reading.